Adjusting to my New Normal

I never assumed that moving half way around the world for a year would be easy.  I don't consider myself to be naive, and I knew that there would be many challenges, adjustments, frustrations, and (of course) blessings.  Things that were comfortable and second-nature in the states may no longer be as comfortable (or natural) in our home-away from home.  And in these times of cultural adjustment, when I experience something drastically different than 'what I'm used to," we I tend to over use the phrase 'I take for granted...'

"I take for granted my comfortable life at home."  

"I take for granted my friends and family."  

"I take for granted my car and my simple ability to commute from point A to point B."  

"I take for granted my shower, bed, phone, etc.."   

It seems that each time I encounter something new that challenges my comfort zone, my knee-jerk reaction is to think of its home-equivalent, miss it, and then dwell in the fact that I take it for granted.  But after two weeks of culture shock, lifestyle adjustments, and warm hospitality, I must admit that my knee-jerk reaction is wrong.  It's simply wrong.  And not to mention, it's unfair.

If my first reaction to an unfamiliar situation is to lament that I take its home-equivalent for granted, then perhaps I am holding my own norm and context in a higher regard than the one I'm experiencing.  To say I take something for granted is to say that yours isn't good enough for me.  I know it communicates a posture of superiority, which belittles the contextual norm of my new surrounding, and I hate it.  I hate that my gut says, "this isn't as good (fun, tasty, difficult, troublesome, etc.) as home," thereby dismissing this.  By an unfair comparison, and a better-than-thou complex, I communicate that my culture is somehow better than yours.  I KNOW this is unfair, and for that I am sorry.

The last two weeks have been incredible.  Let's not mistake that fact.  But that isn't to say it hasn't been without its challenges.  It hasn't been without necessary cultural adjustments.  And it certainly hasn't been without lifestyle changes.

In my first two weeks here, I've come to realize that my knee-jerk reaction, which tends to unfairly hold your norm in comparison to mine, is wrong.  I apologize for that.  This realization has taught me that while cultural comparison is appropriate within the context of discussing our differing cultures and the ways in which we are influenced by them, it is not appropriate when it belittles or dismisses the culture I am experiencing.  It is not okay to hold another's culture below you own.

I think there is a drastic difference between saying, "I miss my way of life back home," and saying, "This way of life doesn't compare well to mine."  There is a clear distinction between the two.  I've held both of these statements in my mind on multiple occasions these past two weeks, and while I don't apologize for missing (at times) my comfortable way of life, I DO apologize for the times in which I have unfairly compared my normal way of life to yours.

So, from here on I promise to be intentional about how I think, talk, interpret, feel, and describe about new challenges - new normals.  And rather than determine how a certain experience differs from my own, I promise to intentional remember that this culture (though different than my own) is in no way, shape, or form insignificant.  After all, it is my new normal.

The Petronas Twin Towers in the Kuala Lumpur City Centre.  Photo by: Sarah Locke